Volume 5 - Edition 8 - June 2009
Created ‘Just Right’
by One has often heard the saying “Only a mother can love a child like that.” As parents we love our children dearly – in all their strengths and weaknesses. However, at times this love is challenged. Not so much by what our children do, but from the subtle and often nagging expectations placed on children by our society. Often our children are “this” but our society is saying they should be “that.” In light of this pressure our unconditional love can be challenged.
I do not believe God makes mistakes. He created each of our children “just right.” “Just right” might not be “right enough” by society’s set norms, but we know God measures worth on an entirely different scale than man. Our worth is in Him – in His enduring unconditional love.
Our society holds specific expectations for our children. Often the Ministry’s Learning Outcomes can be viewed as a set of expectations. Yet these outcomes can be viewed positively when we see them as a vast collection of skills and concepts available to us as we endeavour to create a well-rounded Christian education for our children. These outcomes are also used as a means to assess our children’s progress based on general norms. While this is can be positive there is a danger that we might forget to consider each child’s uniqueness as we work with them and watch them develop.
Our children are “wonderfully” created. Each possesses a learning style – a unique method of retrieving, processing, and communicating knowledge. Each is created ‘just right’ in God’s eyes.
We need to be careful not to use society’s standards to assess worth. If our child is struggling to meet certain standards we may feel pressured to push our child to succeed at a stressful rate or level. Keep in mind that God gives discernment in knowing a healthy challenge from an unhealthy challenge. Discernment may lie within the intent. If it arises from a ‘knowing’ a child is capable of achieving a higher standard, then the child often rises to this challenge. However, if the parent’s intent is to ensure their child “measures up” it may lead to discouragement on both sides. There is always a danger of becoming transfixed on the standards which may avert one’s gaze away from a child’s significant learning experiences. While teachers are required to use set standards in their assessment they also value and make note of a child’s accomplishments in the light of their effort, individuality and “just rightness”.
I encourage parents, teachers, and students to view assessment as a time to celebrate successes and to re-evaluate learning goals specific to one’s individual needs. Assessment can be a rewarding and meaningful time when we approach assessment holistically and proactively. I encourage each family to communicate their child’s success even if they feel these successes are insignificant compared to set standards. The fact of the matter is these successes are significant to the child. Assessment time is a time to acknowledge these. Recognizing a child’s effort and personal accomplishment affirms their “just rightness” and our unconditional love for them.